Pippi Longstocking VS Bessie Higgenbottom
by MyLife6789
Summary: The World's Strongest Girl V.S. The Mightiest B! Who Will Come out on top?


**The themes I used are available on Youtube, so I owe nothing. If you want me to use OTHER resources or proof for the results, DM and I will give you more sources and links. Please have fun reading and don't get too mad at the results. **

**(Cue "Death Battle Theme: Wiz and Boomstick")**

**Wiz: **The inside of a child's mind is unique to the point of being groundbreaking or just even overwhelming. A child's past can either create or ruin their future depending on their background or their actions.

**Boomstick: **Or you can just be born **WITH SUPER HUMAN STRENGTH AND MINDS! **Like Pippi Longstocking, the world's strongest woman.

**Wiz: **And Bessie Higgenbottom, the Honeybee Scout of Group 828.

**Boomstick: **He's Wiz, and I'm Boomstick!

**Wiz: **And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to see who would win...a Death Battle!

**(Cue "Donkey Kong Country Music (SNES) - King K Rool's Theme Song")**

**Wiz: **The High Seas have been the home for many ongoing pirates for many generations and even multiple stories.

**Boomstick: **Wait...like Somali Pirates?

**Wiz: **No... regular pirates like Blackbeard, Jack Sparrow, and even Captain Hook. But Pippi Longstocking is no ordinary buccaneer.

**Pippi Longstocking**

**Age: 9**

**Home: Villa Villekulla**

**Nationality: Swedish**

**Creator: Astrid Lingren**

**Hates: Condescending Adults**

**Loves: Adventuring **

**Boomstick: **Wait, THAT is Pippi Longstocking? She looks like the Wendy's mascot had a daughter then rejected her and sowed her clothes for her out of shame...

**Wiz: **Don't let her looks fool you. She is more capable than just the average kid. With her father missing at sea and a dead mother, she eventually landed on an island, in case his father was going to return, with her horse, named Horse in the original books, and her monkey, Mr. Neilson and eventually made her self at home at the Villa Villekula...try saying that three times fast.

**Boomstick: **Villa Villekula...Villa Villekula...screw it, I'm taking a drink of my beer...(Gulps a quick bit of his beer).

(**Cue "Shovel Knight - Strike the Earth!)**

Now, in all seriousness before I start to crave a _Wendy's _Baconator, she grew very accustomed to her new home rather quickly. Pippi cleaned her house, cooked, and repaired things around her giant new home. Even met two of her best friends, Tommy and Annika.

**Wiz: **Eventually, word did get about that Pippi lived at Villa Villekula by herself with no family around and a treasure chest FULL of gold from her adventures.

**Boomstick: **As expected this would be a good way for burgulars, policeman, and even stuck up adults to try and take the gold or even get Pippi in a new home with a "real" family. Keyword: Try. Insert cliche ending her. Pippi even outsmarts all of the baddies and pretty much keeps her home and goes on insane adventures with Tommy and Annika.

**Wiz: **That's just the first part of it. The adventures didn't stop there though. She eventually proved she has TREMENDOUS amount of strength to show how scary she can be. For example, she can carry her horse, Horse, without breaking a sweat. She even carry it one-handed, or even carry the horse with her while running up to a train, and the SLOWEST trains can go are at least 60 km/hr.

**Feats**

**Lift her horse one-handed**

**Tossed a Chubby Kid into a tree with no energy**

**Lifted a 1908 Model T with two policemen in the car**

**Able to pick up "The World's Strongest Man" **

**Owned the Villa Villekulla at Age 9**

**Wrestled a Bull and tore off both of its' horns. **

**Yelled So Loud that an entire forest shook and nearly made monkeys fly out of the trees**

**Filled up a Hot Air Balloon with her breath in just a matter of seconds**

**Boomstick: **She is able to carry an old Model T car, which is over 1,200 pounds, tossed a kid into a tree in less than a few seconds, carried a chest full of gold, then she wrestled a bull INTO SUBMISSION by breaking its horns' off! Man, that is so badass! Can I adopt her?

**Wiz: **Boomstick, she is already with another family...but anyways...a bull's horn is composed of dermal bone, overed by a tin epidermal layer, and lastly a think layer of keratinized cells. So, it is safe to assume she can break a bone. Then there was the time, she was able to fight AND lift _"_The World's Strongest Man", in this instance...

**Boomstick: Oo, Oo! **Can I do the awesome math thingy this time?

**Wiz: (**Facepalms)...fine...you can do it...I'm a bit afraid this time.

**Boomstick: **Awesome! Gives me more confidence when you are about to pee yourself. Pippi was able to carry this man at the local circus WHILE he was lifting two sets of barbells as shown here. From this frame from the movie, the man seems to have barbells similar to at least two 100 pound barbells together on each end of the echo bar, equaling 200 pounds on each end. So, he is has 2 barbells of 200 pounds on EACH end of the echo bars, the 2 that he is carrying, which sum up to 400 pounds he is lifting for each arm. The lowest that Pippi is carrying is at least 800 pounds. But we don't have ANY way of measuring the guy itself because of how inconsistent. EXCEPT to compare another person who has a very similar title and can lift the same amount that the man, or Adolf in the show and movie, is lifting, Mark Henry, a former World Heavyweight Champion in the WWE, World Wrestling Entertainment. He was able to lift a car off the ground AND pulled two tractor trailers equaling over 100,000 pounds! Mark Henry clocks in his weight at 399 so adding the barbells equals to Pippi lifting over 1,200 pounds! And she is just carrying him like a piece of paper!

**Wiz: **Boomstick...I'm shocked...I didn't think you would be into that kind of stuff...let alone wrestling...

**Boomstick: **You should give it a shot sometime, there are some CRAZY crap that goes on in the WWE.

**Wiz: **No thanks...but regardless of how strong she is...there are few tweeks to her system...her super ego.

_Pippi: That was a glorious party, Mrs. Settengren. Thank you for inviting me!_

Mrs. Settengren: Pippi!

Pippi: And Boyyy, that was the best Cake I've had since...

Mrs. Settengren: Pippi!

PIppi: Ai-yi, Sir! Um...M'am!

**Wiz: **It gets worse. She also seems to cause a lot of turmoil in one place to another like school and doesn't seem to learn or care from her mistakes. Speaking of learning, she rarely has a decent education nor how to count properly...Ironic, because Hide and Seek is one of her favorite games...

**Boomstick: **Well, regardless of how many screws Pippi has loose, she always will keep her title of The Strongest Woman in the World and keep her dreams of being like her father...(Sheds a small tear)...just like me...

_Pippi: "I could beat him, but maybe I shouldn't. He looks so nice and kind!"_

_Annika: "You couldn't beat him, Pippi. He is the strongest man in the world."_

_Pippi: "Maybe, he is, but you forget one thing. I'm the strongest GIRL in the world!"_

**(Cue "Mickey Mouse Club March - Kingdom Hearts 2.5 HD ReMIX")**

**Wiz: **Besides just seeling cookies at your local doorstep, the Girl Scouts, or the Girl Scouts of the United States as the official name, engage in other activites such as hiking, camping, and even canoeing. Enter the Honeybees Scouts, a group similar to that, but have different activities...as well as different people with very grotesque manners...unlike the Girl Scouts though they have different types of badges to obtain, such as the Unicorn Finder, Toot Toot, and even the Time Traveling badge.

**Boomstick: **WOAHHHH, they have a TIME TRAVELING BADGE? I have a time machine in my back yard! Sign me up for this group!

**Wiz: **Boomstick...this group is only available for 7 to 12 year olds...

**Boomstick: **Dang, it...I wanted to become a boy scout like my grandpa never let me...well, since are still on the topic, this is where Bessie Higgenbottom comes in!

**Bessie "Kajolica" Higgenbottom**

**Age: 9 ¾**

**Home: San Francisco, California**

**Nicknames: Messie/Bessie Stinking-Bottom**

**Scout Troop: Group 828**

**Loves: Working Hard, Unicorn, Talking, Doing Good**

**Hates: Her Middle Name, Scary Stories, Failing to get the Badge she wants**

**Wiz: **Bessie Higgenbottom was placed in Group 828 of the Honeybee Scouts. A bright, spunky, and somewhat dimwitted girl who believes that if she obtains ALL of the Honeybee badges that she becomes her super alter-ego...The Mighty B.

_Bessie: "Only 4,583 badges to go! Awesome, we're so close!" _

(**Cue "TMNT 4 (SNES) Music: Big Apple, 3 A.M.")**

**Boomstick: **Yeah...that is a long way to go, kid...

**Wiz: **True, that is a TON of badges, but throughout her course in the Honeybee Scouts, she obtained most of the badges more than anyone in her group while proving her loyalty to the group. On top of that, she is really intelligent for her age. For example, she can build a robot with nuclear radiation, a clone of herself, a pirate ship in a matter of seconds, and even recognize badges from the 80s as well as the entire handbook of the Honeybee Manual. Bessie Higgenbottom also can develop an ability, in this case, called "Toon Force." Going back on the _Deadpool V.S. The Mask episode, _recall that Toon Force is the ability to manipulate sometimes the laws of physics and even alter one's own body, like Bugs Bunny, Popeye, and even Michael Jordan.

**Boomstick: PLEASE, **tell me she can't break the fourth wall like, you know who?

**Deadpool: **You mean me? :)

**Wiz and Boomstick: GO AWAY! **

**Deadpool: Awwwww.**

**Wiz: **In this case, this is a bit different. While the Mask used Toon Force for almost about anything, Bessie uses it in more of a fair way. For example, she be able to bend her body into multiple shapes or even extend full body parts. She can even change into the Virtruvian Man, a drawing made by the famous Leonardo Da Vinci. Bessie can even take full amounts of damage and can complete shake it off. Another good example is how she extended her entire body to touch a cactus JUST to make sure her legs didn't even reach a hammock and she was okay in just a mere second.

**Boomstick: **Let's use another example from the exact same episode, "Space Evaders". Inside her base, _The Hive_, Bessie was being flung around like a ragdoll thanks to her dog, Happy Higgenbottom, by using a giant crane machine. Keep in mind, that he flung this small little base into a concrete building! And she was fine the next minute!

**Feats**

**Wrestled a Bear and a Lion**

**Survived the Gorilla Boy Scout Obstacle Course**

**Snuck inside the homes of San Francisco to obtain all of the Taffy sent to the Honeybees**

**Made the entire town stop saying her middle name**

**Exposed an entire Taffy Factory with their fake honey**

**Climbed the Golden Gate Bridge to save an infant **

**Survived a Fall from Orbit**

**Busted Bonnie and Clyde...in a donut Shop (We are not Joking)**

**Dodged laser beams from her clone robot at point blank range**

**Spun a bowling ball so fast it caught on fire...then blew up a random bowling pin factory**

**Wiz: **That's not all she can really do. She was able to survive the Gorilla Boy Scout Obstacle Course that tested her strength and witt WHILE wrestling a Lion, and they pack a punch of AT LEAST 400 pounds of force; able to break a human neck. She was fast enough to dodge a laser beam from a clone of her, who is able to tear down sides of buildings AND cars, and even survive a crash from orbit.

**Boomstick: **That's not all, she climbed the Golden Gate Bridge, which is 8,981 feet long by the way, just to save a baby! Heck, she just yelled at the damn brat and it just zipped straight to her! Then there was the one time, she...wait a minute... (muffled noise)...stopped the entire town from saying her middle name? What the heck is wrong with her middle name...? It's just Kajolica...(Hair starts to fall out immediately)...WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED? I just said her middle name and THAT just happened!

**Wiz: **You never let me finish that...she stopped her entire town from saying her middle name. Her middle name has been cursed for whatever reason to the point of WHOEVER says it could possibility have a fatal condition happen to them. Stuff like, shedding hair, making wallpaper attack you or even strangle you, make your phone explode, floor collapsing right before you, your body parts to attack you, yes ANY body part, even your tongue, dead pets come back to life even in pelt form, or even animals appear out of thin air or even out from your body! It's a pretty scary thing to say the least.

**Boomstick: **Screw that, I'm NEVER saying anyone's middle name again...Can you give me a minute? I need to put some of my hair back on my head.

**Wiz**: Continuing on that note, Bessie is extremely smart, but at the same time, she can be VERY overbearing and VERY clingy.

_Bessie: Miriam Breedlove! You got my messages!_

_Miriam: And your fax, and your texts, and I even saw your signal fire._

**Wiz: **In addition to that, Bessie has proven she will do LITERALLY about anything just to get the badge she wants. From putting her own friends and family in danger or just putting at risk their mental health...even their psychological issues...now that is even creepy, but even that is not stopping her goals from becoming the Mighty B!

**Boomstick: **There! I'm finished. How do I look?

**Wiz: **The same as always?

**Boomstick: **Screw you, Wiz...

_Bessie: Prepare to face the awesome sting of the Mighty B!_

**Wiz: **Alright, let's end this debate once and for all!

**Boomstick: **It's time for a DEATH BATTLE!

Scene: San Francisco Bay Docks, Multiple Fish Markets are near other ships as a random pirate ship shows up and docks near a fish market.

_Random Pirate on Board: _Alright, Pippi! Get some fresh air and we will leave the bay soon!

_Pippi_: Alright! (She then jumps off the boat from the deck and feet first perfectly on the pier while Mr. Nielson is on her shoulder)

(Cue "Asuka Strikes" From Evangelion)

Pippi: Woah, this place looks huge! You got other pirates and merchants selling spices, meats, jewelry and even fish! Hmmmm, I wonder if everyone likes fish. I should try and buy some.

_She then looks over at a nearby fish market with two girls who look like they have blonde and dark-colored hair. _

Gwen: Portia...WHY are we at the fish market?

Portia: Mommy apparently wants me to find some fish for her...said something about trying to make some fish moisturizer for her skin or something...

Pippi: Fish isn't for your skin, sillies!

_She walked right beside them after yelling at them causing Gwen and Portia's hair to go up._

Pippi: You simply eat it! There all kinds of fresh fish to eat here! Look, the common trout, a blue tang, a moderate delicacy for myself, a northern pike...wowie! There are too many to choose from!

Portia: Um...what do you know about fish? What are you some kind of ring master with your little chimp?

Gwen: Nah, prolly some kind of a fashion merchandiser. I mean look at her clothes! (Points to Pippi's clothing). It looks like she just took a piece of cloth from every poor kid in San Francisco and just sown them together...a piece at a time!

(Both girls started to laugh at her, then slowly Pippi started to laugh along with them causing the other girls to stop laughing in a bit of fear.)

Pippi: You are right about one thing. I do sew my own clothes! But you forgot one thing. My clothing is from somewhere else. Tell ya, what? Let me give you a question and if you answer it right...

(She pulls out two Spanish gold coins and Portia and Gwen's eyes grew to the size of giant Dollar signs.)

Pippi: Alright, now tell me. (She then picks up Gwen and Portia by their shirt collars). Can girls fly?

Gwen: Ummmm...what?

Pippi: Wrong! Yes, they can! (She then tosses them into town across the pier with the two girls screaming leaving an echo behind before have a small metallic thud.) Well, then, now that's out the way, time to get some fish for din-din!

_Bessie is then carrying a few boxes of Honeybee Taffy down the street about to deliver and sees Portia and Gwen dangling on a light post on both ends upside down. _

Bessie: Hey, guys! What you doing up there? I didn't know both of you like to hang upside down, too.

Portia: We didn't do this on purpose, Messie!

Gwen: Yeah, ignoramus. We got flung by some random chick! She just tossed us across the pier!

Bessie: Woahhhhh, really? She was that strong?

Portia: Bessie! Just get us down here!

Bessie: Hang on a second. Where did she go?

Gwen: The Pier down at the docks near some fish market, I guess.

Bessie: I wonder if I can challenge her to arm wrestling so I can get my Beefy Bee Badge! (She then quickly runs down to the docks)

Portia: Seriously? Bessie! Someone help us!

_Back at the Docks, Pippi is buying some fish from the man who owns the fish. She seems to be carrying about 4 fish while Mr. Nielson is carrying a baby fish. _

Pippi: Here you go. Four gold pieces! (He gives four gold pieces to the merchant while the merchant is extending out his constantly, quivering hand after witnessing Pippi's strength.)

Bessie: Hello! (Pippi quickly turns around to the Honeybee who is extending her hand while carrying four boxes of Taffy). I am Bessie, Bessie Higgenbottom of Group 828.

Pippi: (She shakes Bessie's one hand ) Pippilotta Delicatessa Windowshade Mackrelmint Efraim's Daughter Longstockin. But Pippi for short!

Bessie: So I heard you tossed my two best friends, Portia Gibbons and Gwen Wu, across San Francisco and as a Honeybee, my goal is to obtain all 4,583 badges and become the Mighty B! And I was hoping to challenge you to an arm wrestling match to get my Beefy Bee badge. So may I please challenge you, please? Please, Please? (She cuffed her hands together in desperation.)

Pippi: Hmmmmmmm. Okay. Just wanna warn you, I'm the strongest girl in the world! But first, what do you have there? (She points to Bessie's boxes of Honeybee Taffy.)

Bessie: Oh, these! This is Honeybee taffy! You want to try a sample and if you like it, buy a box? (Her Finger, named Finger, jerks back on the box for a second.) What? (Finger has angry face and shakes himself in a no-like manner indicating she shouldn't give her any taffy.)

Pippi: Funny, it doesn't say a price on the box, but since you mentioned try, I'll give it a try! (She opens the top box of ladder of boxes and takes a piece from the box and starts to chew on it.)

Bessie: I have to let you know that our Honeybee Taffy is fully, 100%...

Pippi: Mmmm, this stuff tastes really awful! (Bessie's face lit up in total fear.) Are you sure this stuff doesn't like fake honey? Cause that's what it's really close like! (Pippi's black pupils cracked and made into a small shape of a cloud with a slight chance of rain. Then Pippi quickly spits her taffy into the sea.) Well, I tried it, and absolutely, didn't like it, so I will not buy it. Thank you though!

Bessie: Hang on a minute! Is that a monkey? (Bessie points to her pet monkey, Mr. Nielson)

Pippi: Why yes, it is! Wanna see him? (The monkey seems a bit cheerful in the presence of Bessie).

Bessie: Sure! (Bessie then starts to cradle Mr. Nielson for a minute. Then slowly starts to hold him by the tail and spin him like a lasso and toss him into the same spot as Bessie spit out the taffy.)

Pippi: Mr. Nielson! (Pippi quickly goes over to see Mr. Nielson quickly drown with only a few bubbles left to then none.) So, that's how it's gonna be, huh? (She then pulls her sleeves back a bit after tossing her fish on the boat and puts her hands on her hips.) As you know, this does mean war.

Bessie: (Readies her fists.) War, it is!

_FIGHT!_

_(_Cue "Jean-Jacques Perrey - Four,Three,Two,One")

_Bessie starts by trying to use straight punches towards Pippi, but Pippi dodges all of them and makes a raspberry with her tongue. Then Bessie uses a random fish to hit Pippi in the face with one of them._

Pippi: Did you just hit with a fish? (Bessie smacks her on the head again then Pippi grabs one herself to smack Bessie a bit harder.)

_Bessie and Pippi then have a small sword fight with their fish, but Pippi swings her fish so hard that Bessie loses her fish and it flies into the merchant knocking her out._

Bessie: Hey! That wasn't nice!

Pippi: Well, neither is this. (She then lifts up the market and slams it on Bessie.) Ha! I win.

_Bessie quickly emerges from the pile of wood from the shop and quickly tackles Pippi and tossed her into a pile of barrels._

Bessie: You think so, don't you, hot shot! (She does a little jig in assumption that she won.)

_Pippi quickly picks up a barrel and tossed it at Bessie, who quickly dodges. Pippi then continued to hurl more at the Honeybee then Bessie jumped them over resembling Mario in the Donkey Kong game._

Bessie: Is that all you got! You are all out of barrels! This is cake. I fought a bear and a lion.

Pippi: Well, I can carry a horse! (She then stomps on a random piece of wood causing Bessie to fly up in the air and fall on to Pippi's ship. Pippi then jumps on the ship to see a slightly injured Bessie as some of Pippi's gang of pirates gather around the Honeybee.) Well, well, well. Look's like some walked the plank a bit early guys! Give her some room, this is MY fight. (Bessie quickly gets up and notices she is on a pirate ship with a bunch of pirates.)

Bessie: Ugh….not again. Look here lady, you can mess with my friends, but NOBODY calls my taffy horrible!

Pippi: I never said it was horrible, I just called it fake! What is the difference?

_Bessie quickly gasps and then grabs a random sword from a pirate and a pirate hat then puts the hat on. _

Bessie: Ha ha! (Notices she has a small dagger. Then pulls another random sword from another pirate nearby, an actual cutlass.)

Pippi: I didn't know you liked to play pirates! (She then grabs a cutlass a random pirate gave her and puts on a pirate hat as well.) Let's play!

(Cue "Pirates Of The Caribbean (Complete Score) - Sword Fight (Part 1)")

_Both of the girls ready their stances with Bessie lunging in first and Pippi blocking it then they clash swords until they both reach the mass of the ship. Pippi quickly wraps some rope around Bessie's open wrist and pull her up above the main mast then Pippi quickly follows her up the top where Bessie is just laying on the Main Mast from being flung up that high and Pippi just stands on top of the Rudder. _

Pippi: Awww, what is the matter? Can't keep up? (She then wraps around her neck with the Pirate Flag from the Rudder and wears it like a cape.) I thought you wanted to be the Mighty B?

Bessie: (She quickly stands back up.) I do! All I just got to do is defeat entitled redheads like you! (She runs towards Bessie and slashes at her, but only gets her cape, which is sliced in half.)

Cue "Pirates Of The Caribbean (Complete Score) - Sword Fight (Part 2)")

_The sword fight continues, but Bessie goes more feriously and aggressively. Each clash of their cutlasses gave off a loud clank and a spark. Each cutlass then started to have small cracks which grew as the females continued to fight. Then Pippi gave a giant overhead blow that Bessie blocked, but her sword broke into pieces onto the deck above them leaving Bessie only the handle. Then Pippi decided to kick her away even with the advantage. _

Pippi: So close, but no pancakes for you! I'll tell you what though. At this point, you are my biggest…._fan._ (Bessie grew a bit more confused until Pippi stood on one foot and started to spin around with the sword still out. Pippi turned herself into a human propeller as she was getting closer and closer to the Honeybee.)

_Pippi was getting closer to making the Honeybee into shredded cheese until Bessie laid on her back and quickly did a low kick to Pippi causing her to stop spinning and lauching her sword into the ocean. Pippi was at an improper balance as it looked like she was about to fall. _

Bessie: Gotcha! (Bessie then tried to tackle the red head straight on.)

Pippi: No, I got you! (Pippi then regained her balance and flipped Bessie over her back so hard that the Main Mast broke into two causing the two to fall straight down on the deck.)

_Pippi landed face first on the Main Deck, while Bessie landed inside of a pirate cannon. Bessie was trying her hardest to wiggle out, but no avail. Pippi quickly got up and started to lean the cannon, but she knew just being shot out of the cannon wasn't good enough. So Pippi decided to aim for the first car she could see in the streets. She lit the spark of the cannon and the cannon shot out bessie into a car, causing the car to explode. _

Pippi: Phew! Finally, she is taken care of! That was pretty easy.

Random Pirate: Um….Pippi….. (He gives Pippi a Telescope and Pippi looks through it to see that Bessie survived as Bessie spits out some glass and a radio from the car.)

Pippi: Well, I'll be. Time to finish this.

_Pippi goes to the fully damaged car to see that Bessie has disappeared. _

Pippi: Now, where did she go?

Bessie?: Why don't you turn around? (In a Robotic Voice.)

_Pippi turns around to what seems like an angrier Bessie. Bessie seems to be in a hunched kind of stance as she is about to attack._

Pippi: I'm impressed. You gave me a run for my money, even for a kid like your….(The Bessie then shoots lasers from her eyes as Pippi dodges the laser beams) Well, that's a first.

Bessie: And this will be your LASTTT.

(Cue " Kilgore's Theme" - Killer Instinct)

_The robotic Bessie then extends her robot arms and grabs Pippi by the legs and flings her around and slamming her on the concrete ground. Then she tosses Pippi into a different car across the shop making a huge indent. Pippi quickly gets back up and punches the robot causing her head to spin. The robot then retaliates by punching Pippi in her right rib causing a bone to snap and make her lose a bit of wind. Pippi is then grabbed by the hair._

Robot Bessie: This is now overrrrr. (She then readies her beam again.)

_Pippi then retaliates by kicking her head causing the robot to shoot in the air instead of at Pippi. Then Pippi picks up the robot and tears her entire body in half leaving just her legs and her arms fully separated. Pippi is then breathing a bit more heavily, then regains all of her breath._

Pippi: Was that from that girl? Did she make that? (Then notices Bessie quickly riding her bicycle about a yard away from her.) Oh no. It's TIME to finish this for real now. (She glances around for a ride of her own as she sees a motorbike with a sidecar and quickly hops on and decides to start it up. She notices a radio that was installed.) Hmm...some show tunes will brighten my spirits up. (She turns the dial multiple times from hearing stuff like _Fly me…., Eat my…., Yeshmiyek!, then finally….)_

Cue "Death Battle: Retro Rivals (From the ScrewAttack Series)

_Pippi quickly nearly catches up to Bessie as she is about 20 inches from her about. Bessie starts to slowly speed up a bit more shocking the red head a bit. Pippi then notices a nearby Cabbage stand and grabs three cabbages and hurls two at Bessie. Two miss as Bessie dodges, but then Bessie gets hit by the third one as Bessie starts to lose control and hop into Pippi's side car and start punching Pippi in the face. Pippi then spots what seems to be some kind of Amusement park and decides to drive through the entrance and nearly made Bessie fly out of the side car, but grabs Pippi's neck to make sure she doesn't lose her grip. Pippi rides through the ticket booth and even a bunch of tables, but Bessie doesn't let go. Pippi has no other choice, but to crash into some metal to make her lose her grip, but instead of Bessie flying; both girls go flying and land into separate seats on a roller coaster that didn't start until they landed in the cars….conviently. Bessie was in the top car while Pippi was in the middle. _

_The roller coaster started to go a bit faster and faster. Pippi then walked her way up to where Bessie was and Bessie went after her first. Both started to punch each other so fast that they just collided into one GIANT cloud of just violence where they didn't notice they were going up higher and faster up this one giant hill of railing. Suddenly, their vigorous fighting shook the entire roller coaster so much that the latches holding the two together in the seat just broke._

Bessie: Time out…. (Both girls were pulling their hair as they stopped.) Did our latches just click off… (They both noticed they were going fast and higher up the slope and getting closer to the top.)

Pippi: This isn't good….

Bessie: Crap….

_Both girls are then launched up in the air above the clouds next to each other and start falling from the sky and were about a thousand feet away from the Pirate Ship that Pippi got off on. Pippi then twirled her body and kicked Bessie in her face while they were in the air. Then she inhaled all her last breath for one final yell towards Bessie in hopes she could just blow her into space._

Pippi: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (She gave giant shockwaves of just air loud enough to make Bessie's glasses crack and blind her sight. Bessie couldn't see her...but she could definitely hear her. So she folded her arms down her side and leaned in towards the screaming heroine as she got closer and closer.)

_Bessie was able to get close enough to wrap her hands around her neck causing Pippi to start to choke, but the redhead bit down on her hands making Bessie's hands bleed, but neither woman was willing to give up as they were just above the pirate ship about 800 feet now. _

Bessie: You may be the strongest girl in the world….but I'm the mightest Honeybee! (Bessie then spin around so fast that Pippi's entire body caught on fire.) And I got the sting! (Then tosses the flaming Pippi towards the ship so hard that it made the entire pirate ship explode into just a pile of wood and parts of the ship. Bessie lands on her own two feet. As she successfully lands on her own two feet, she then catches one of Pippi's untied shoes as it is the only thing that is left from her. Bessie just tosses it in the ocean like nothing happened along with the other entrails of Pippi's pirate ship.)

Pippi: Never mess with a Honeybee! (Then gold pieces started to fall from the sky as Bessie started to dance in victory.) Go bees! Go bees! Woo! Uh, Pfft, Uh, Uh, Pfft!

KO!

(Cut to a side frame with one side with Bessie swimming in a bunch of gold that was Pippi's inside "The Hive" with Ben, Portia, Penny, Gwen and Happy and the other side frame with Pippi's dad sitting on the steps of Villa Villekula waiting for Pippi to show up.)

**Boomstick: **Man overboard! Or this case, woman overboard! That was WAyyyy more epic than I thought...but I could have sworn Pippi had this one in the bag.

**Wiz: **This fight was actually a REALLY close call. I'm sure there are instances where Pippi could have won this one, and there are, but most of the time, Bessie comes out on top. Pippi definitely held the strength advantage down pat and could have overwhelmed her at anytime. Pippi also can prove WITHOUT an intelligent mind that she could try to outsmart her. Keyword Try. Bessie had more to work worth and proved she could adapt to possibly anything that would be thrown at her. In lament's terms, there wasn't much that Pippi could do to possibly to try and kill her. Recall that, Bessie survived a fall from orbit in her Bee Space Pod...thing?...We can estimate that her fall from orbit STARTED at the Karman Line, so she was going at LEAST 62 Miles/100 KM in just about 7 seconds. Meaning Bessie was going in the range of 37,000 MPH….and that is excluding how many times she and her dog went around the earth AND how the impact from the crash caused multiple buildings to fly high off the ground.

**Boomstick: **To be fair, Bessie, while she is strong herself, couldn't deal much damage herself surprisngly. Pippi was shown to have enough force to fill up a hot air balloon that is about 1,000 pounds by the way AND able to lift a chest full of gold, which is over 2,000 pounds! So, Pippi and Bessie were equal in strength, speed, AND intelligence almost, and it seemed to go either way. IN FACT, we seemed like at a giant draw at first glance.

**Wiz: **In some instances, yes, it would be a draw and Pippi would win because of how overpowered she is. But when you put Bessie's ABSURD amount of damage she can take from overpowered stuff she has endured in the past. Despite Pippi literally being The Strongest Woman in the World, it actually paled in comparison to Bessie's endurance AND speed. For example, Bessie was able to CRASH through a brick wall just to save her pet dog and was completely unscratched. Okay, she had a few minor bruises but she walked off just fine. A common household brick is at least 30 N/mm^2. An average elite boxer to punch is about 6,316N, and to crush through an average brick wall or even punch through it would take 10 times that much force, 63,000 N to be exact.

**Boomstick: **Not enough? Well, let's recall how Bessie dealt with a laser beam from her clone. And yes, Bessie does mention they are real laser beams.

"_On the bright side, Robot Me doesn't know about her laser beam eyes, her jet feet, and super duper amazingly awesome hearing."_

**Wiz: **So, we can compare this robot to a VERY similar robot that Afro Samurai fought back in the _Samurai Jack v.s Afro Samurai _episode. So, in short terms, Bessie dodged a laser beam that was going over 670,000,000+ MPH.

**Boomstick: **But couldn't Pippi just negate damage since she is a cartoon as well?

**Wiz: **It is heavily implied that she can, but a lot of times in the cartoon movie and the show since she is extremely strong but she can't bend her body or extend her body parts like Bessie can. Pippi has also proved she can defy gravity in another movie, the 1989 movie, but her feats have been shown rather inconsistent compared to her feats in the cartoon movie and the show.

**Boomstick: **Couldn't Pippi just outsmart her just like she did the other goons and baddies he met in the past?

**Wiz: **To be fair, the people she outsmarted were kind of idiots, but its' impossible to outsmart Bessie because she is actually smarter than her. In fact, Bessie could have easily ended this fight even sooner with her creativity. For example, she could have made her a deadly trap OR just made Pippi trick her into saying her middle name.

**Boomstick: **Pippi was really strong….but she wasn't BEE-ing careful enough to pull a victory over the Mightiest girl.

**Wiz: **(Sigh…) The Winner is Bessie Higgenbottom!

**Boomstick: NEXT TIMEEEEE ON DEATH BATTLE….**

**"I will see you soon, ringtail..." **

**(Cue "**Sly Cooper: Thieves in Time soundtrack - Carmelita's Dance)

**LUPINNNNN!**

**(Cue "**銭形マーチ [ヴァリエーション] - Zenigata March [Variation]")

**Carmelia Fox V.S. Koichi Zenigata (Dec. 25th!)**

**This was honestly really fun to do. I hope you guys liked it as much as I did. Now, I decided to post the dates here for the finales of my works for Fanfiction here…..Guess its an early Christmas Present :)**

**Victorious: Strawberry Delight (Dec. 14th)**

**Angela (Dec. 24th) **


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